Big Blue Jerk
by GirlNextDoor228
Summary: Megamind and Roxanne have their first serious fight as a couple. Megamind, however, knowing nothing about relationships, believes Roxanne doesn't want to see him again. Angst & Fluff ahead! Megamind/Roxanne and some Megamind/Minion Bromance


**A/N:** Hello everyone! This short story was a prompt I filled in the LJ community, and I decided to share it here with anyone who's interested.

Please keep in mind that the plot idea does not belong to me, it was created by the Livejournal user by the name of** firetruckyou**.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything you might recognize in this fiction, Megamind belongs entirely to Dreamworks and this is a non-profitable work.

**Rating:** T

**Original Prompt: **Megamind and Roxanne have their first serious fight as a couple. Megamind, however, knowing nothing about relationships, believes that Roxanne doesn't want to see him again. Cue angst with a fluffy make-up

Please ignore the lack of creativity behind the title, I'm just being lazy as heck.

Review and leave me a piece of your Mind! ;D I'll give you a cookie.

* * *

**T**he ride on the invisible car had been painfully silent, something pretty unusual for its two occupants. Normally, the blue alien would go on and on about some new heroic plan to keep an eye on the city for trouble, some new gadget he had come up with to improve public transportation or even a new outfit that his ever-so-faithful Minion was carefully creating for him.

Today, however, things were different. The short-haired woman sat on the passenger seat with a distracted gaze towards the window, wishing that somehow the sky-high buildings would momentarily allow her to see the whole plenitude of the sunset instead of mere small orange beams.

Megamind was trying his very best to keep his enormously-shaped brain focused on driving for the moment, but such task was practically impossible. He'd always had the _un_fortunate gift of short attention span, which meant his mind would travel incessantly between subjects, making multi-tasking a lot easier than it seemed. His thoughts drifted back to the previous happening and his stomach twisted painfully, forming a knot of worry. There was no way he would let this happen again.

The car eventually came to a stop, and the pair found itself hesitating to make any movement. The former-villain let out a short sigh after some minutes of tense silence and made his way out of the machine.

Roxanne reached for the car's handle and pulled it slowly, almost certain the blue figure outside had clutched it at the same time, opening the door for her. She met his preoccupied gaze before stepping out of the car and eyeing the Lair, expecting the crowd of brainbots that greeted her regardless of the circumstance.

The blue alien brushed past them while mentally arranging his next speech. By judging Roxanne's reactions, he was almost certain this wasn't going to go well at all.

"Roxanne?" His voice came out far shakier than he'd expected, his mouth shaped like a perfect line. The petite brunette turned her body to face the alien, leaving her hand lingering on top of a brainbot's dome. She scanned his face and found worry yet again.

"We need to talk" Luckily, he'd managed to adjust the tremble in his voice this time, forcing it to sound serious. Roxanne let out a frustrated sigh and removed her hand from the little robot's dome, shooing it as gently as possible.

"About?" Megamind knew she wasn't truly irritated, but desperate to avoid the subject at all costs. He took small steps towards her, his leather boots tapping the metallic floor softly.

"What were you thinking exactly when you decided to stand up to that guy by yourself?" He snapped, being vaguely aware of the frustration building up inside him. "Do you not value your own life? What do you think would've happened if I hadn't arrived at that exact moment?"

Roxanne kept her eyes on the floor until he was finished and bit her lip. "You've developed a bad habit with my kidnappings. Not everyone is as gentle as I was with their hostages. These guys are actual villains, Roxanne. Do you think they would even think twice before hurting you?"

Megamind wasn't used to this role-reversal at all. The friendly banter between him and Metro Man had always been one of the highlights in kidnapping Roxanne, and during his whole crime career he had never even _considered_ the thought of hurting her purposely. One of those times, he actually cursed himself for placing one of his deadly drills too close to the woman's hair and almost chopping half of her long-at-the-time hair. Now he sort of regretted not having done that, since the shorter style clearly favored her features.

"You could've been killed easily, I can't let that hap—" His features softened as he searched her eyes for compassion or just a clue that told him how she felt. However, before he even got to finish his sentence, she cut him off.

"So could _you_" That same fiery passion he'd seen her wear so many times in their lives burned brightly in her light blue orbs. Her slim eyebrows were lowered with determination as she spoke. "Your life was on the brink too, wasn't it?"

Megamind stood in silence for a while, contemplating her words. "It's not the same thing, Roxanne. I've dealt with danger all my life, plus my body is far more resistant to damage than—" She interrupted him with a frustrated noise.

"Oh, and _I_ haven't? Are you saying that just because I'm human I can't stand up to myself?" It was his turn to let out a similar noise this time.

"That's _not_ what I said, Roxanne! I just don't want you to risk your own life to deal with something you're not meant to deal with" The woman parted her lips in astonishment at what she heard.

"I'm _not_ a damsel in distress, Megamind. You of all people should be aware of it by now" His brow furrowed and their eyes made contact. Minion, who was alarmed by their loud voices and watching the scene from a safe distance while fiddling with his apron nervously, was positive it wouldn't take long for a spark to light up between them.

"Oh, you're not? Then why did you spend at least three days each week trapped to a chair, waiting for Metro Man to come rescue you from my clutches?" The couple was so hotheaded by now that they barely acknowledged the gravity of their own words.

"If you hadn't showed up I would've kicked that guy's ass. And I wouldn't need _your_ help" Roxanne was getting fed up with the alien's inconsideration, and momentarily thankful he wasn't wearing high-heeled boots so she could stand to his eye level easily.

"You're unbelievable! Weeks ago you were _begging_ for me to save your life, and now all of a sudden you don't _need_ me at all?" Minion decided to grab the bowl of fresh dough he had been stirring and mix it quickly with a wooden spoon, in order to somehow calm his nervousness. If there was one thing the fish hated was people fighting, even more so when those people were his beloved Sir and Miss Ritchi, one of his closest friends.

"I see you've forgotten who caused that situation at all, haven't you? That's very nice of you, Megamind. You've always been _so nice_; no wonder why people can't stand you!" Roxanne's fists were now clenched tightly at her sides, forming two balls of rage.

"It always has to go your way, doesn't it? You _never_ listen to anything the others might have to say, you never hear the other end of the story. Gosh, how did you even make it as a reporter?"

Megamind's head was boiling with rage, his hands trembling as he spoke. If she was going to be insulting, two could play that game.

"That's none of your damn business. You wanna know what makes it hard for me to listen to you sometimes? After all you did you still don't know? You only think of yourself, you lie and deceive everyone around you, and how can you say _I'm_ the one who doesn't listen, when you don't even bother trying to understand why I did that!" Her words stung like freshly-sharpened swords that cut him into pieces with realization.

Roxanne took a long breath; eyes widened in horror at all the insults she'd just thrown at the ex-villain. His forehead wrinkled for a brief moment and her heart tied in a suffocating knot.

Megamind found it hard to swallow when she turned her back to him and left the Lair, momentarily thankful that it didn't have a door so he didn't have to hear it being slammed hard behind her.

* * *

**A** black-clad figure sat on a leather armchair, his bottom lip practically quivering as he wrapped his cape around his arms protectively. The vast layers of leather usually protected him against cold, but not tonight.

How could he do it? Such preposterous head should disable him from having foolish acts, from saying meaningless things to the one he cared for the most, from not thinking things through.

Minion poured a transparent yellow liquid into a black mug that read "World's Most Incredible Genius" (the word _evil_ scratched with a marker) and travelled to the fake observatory after adding three spoons full of sugar and stirring it methodically with a spoon.

"Sir?" Minion wasn't sure if the alien had even heard the loud elevator he'd used to get up there, and since there wasn't a door, he decided to be polite.

Megamind sighed heavily, his gaze stuck on the walls of the fake observatory. "Come in, Minion" The fish obeyed with small steps and handed the mug to his Master gently. Megamind took it in his left hand absentmindedly, gazing at the walls distractedly before taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"What're you doing all the way up here, Sir?" The fish raised his body to follow his Boss's eyesight, and found himself looking at the now-darkened sky above them. It hadn't been long after the two decided to renovate this section of the not-so-Evil-now Lair and build a gorgeous transparent structure (that somehow resembled a brainbot's dome, now that Minion thought of it) that would certainly delight the lovers of stargazing.

"Waiting for the stars to come out" Megamind took a sip of his tea, his eyes never leaving the sky. The two stood like this for a moment, unsure of what to say to each other.

"It's over, Minion" Sir's disappointed voice almost shook the fish off his scales. He didn't know how he'd been so hopeful that Sir wouldn't ever mention the fight he'd just had with Miss Ritchi, but Minion just hated when people around him didn't get along well. Even back in the duo's prison days, the fish had done the impossible and convinced everyone to get along with each other. When there were fights, he would usually bash away, attempting to hide his bowl behind Master and waiting until they were over.

"What's over, Sir?" Just one look at the melancholically pensive alien was enough to boost Minion's anxiety off the charts. The alien drove his sight to the hesitant fish and sighed mournfully.

"I can't believe the foolish way I acted towards her. I mean… I was only trying to protect her but I guess…Oh, Minion, I just don't know anymore" Seeing his Master act _this_ defeated was too painful for the fish. Minion's footsteps were loud on the floor as he approached the blue figure.

"I'd say give it a bit of time and go talk to her. Tell her how you feel" Minion placed a hand on the alien's slumped shoulder and he eyed the fish with affliction.

"I wish I could. She will never want to see me again, Minion. Our _relation-sheep_ is over" The fish's light brown eyes scanned his Master for a brief moment before he decided to respond.

"What do you mean Sir? Of course she will. She is just…upset at you right now" Minion rubbed the alien's shoulder reassuringly in order to calm him down, but it did little since Megamind continued to wear that sulking expression.

"No… We've said bad things to each other before but this was…different. I don't think I've ever felt this bad. And the worst is I meant nothing of it… And I can't even tell her that" Megamind turned to face his faithful life-long companion and Minion spotted a hint of tears in his eyes. The fish stood in awe, his lips parted as he fought hard to find something to cheer his Boss up.

He had to admit he found himself very surprised to see Sir standing up and pulling him close for a hug, especially since they had totally ditched physical contact of this kind since their teen years. Megamind hid his face against the synthetic gorilla fur on Minion's robotic henchman body, snuggling against it for comfort. The fish wrapped his mechanical arms around Master's thin body for what seemed like an eternity for both of them, silence speaking louder than any words he could've said to console him.

"I'm sorry," The blue alien eventually mumbled, pulling away with an awkwardly embarrassed gaze. "I think I just blew our manly reputations"

Minion beamed for a second before punching his Master playfully in the arm "Oh I wouldn't be too worried about that, Sir. We're as charming as ever"

They laughed for a moment and this time Minion decided to step in before the ex-villain began having depressing thoughts.

"Don't worry, Sir. I'm sure Miss Ritchi didn't mean most of what she said either. She will undoubtedly want to see you again" Megamind pursued his lips in a thoughtful manner and eyed the sky once more.

"You think so?" Minion could tell the amount of uncertainty in his Master's voice, but he also distinguished a trail of hopefulness.

"Naturally, Sir. You've just had your first fight; it's a natural thing in every relationship. As natural as kissing, in fact" Megamind's cheeks grew a pinkish color, similar to his ear's as he responded matter-of-factly.

"Except kissing makes you gushy and weak in the knees" Minion rolled his eyes playfully at how inappropriate his Master could be at times. Nonetheless, he was happy to see he had regained hope in seeing Miss Ritchi again.

"Yes, I can only assume that, Sir. What I meant is, if you apologize to Miss Ritchi and have a conversation about what happened then everything should go back to normal" Megamind considered the fish's sentence for a moment, his lips curving in a tiny smile of hope.

"And then we can go back to kissing" Minion swore Master was just like a child sometimes. A child that wasn't grossed out by kissing, of course. A peculiar child.

"You should give Miss Ritchi some time to sort her feelings out for today, though. And we can come up with a nice plan for tomorrow" The fish beamed once his Master's eyes regain their natural light.

"And then we can…" Megamind began, but the fish cut him off.

"_Siiiir_!"

* * *

**R**oxanne walked up the stairs to her apartment tiredly after greeting her doorman out of pure courtesy. She wasn't the type of woman to let her personal life get in the way of her profession at all, so she had to fake being the most enthusiastic person in front of the cameras for the whole day. What a pain.

She was glad she could finally come home, take off her shoes, and collapse onto the couch. Perhaps a good revitalizing bath would be good too.

Giving that last option a thought, she put her purse on the table and yawned loudly while walking to the living room. Yes, a bath would be nice, but she needed to give her legs and head a rest for now.

The woman let out a relieved sigh and kicked her feet up the coffee table in front of the sofa. When she re-opened her eyes, however, the sight before her was everything but expected.

"What the?" She muttered, taken aback by the pieces of paper hung on the ceiling by tiny strings. It was a sight she was almost too familiar with, and thoughts of the blue genius assaulted her. Roxanne's eyes traveled back and forth between the pieces of paper, not being able to tell their message at all since the only thing on them were different colors.

With a sigh, she stood up and stepped away to her balcony in a slow pace, her eyes set on the pieces of paper. She started making out the word _look_, and then focused on the word under it.

_Outside_.

_Look Outside_.

Just as her back turned to the startling message, her favorite song began to play out of what seemed to be two pink brainbots holding a giant stereo. Looking around, she spotted a hundred luminescent domes forming more words and found herself smiling in anticipation.

_I love you Roxanne Ritchi. Forgive me for being such a big blue jerk_

A smirk found its way on her lips, and suddenly, soft melodic chords transformed into electronic noises as _Futuristic Lover_ blared out of the stereo. A cloud of blue smoke filled the air around her as the previous brainbots rearranged themselves to form a giant blue heart. Inside it was, indeed, her big blue boyfriend.

The brainbots carried him to the woman's balcony with soft electrical _bowg bowg_s. He wore a less opulent version of the Black Mamba, modified to suit his Hero career. Her smirk was still present when she finally spoke.

"What does that make me, then? A small pink jerk?" Megamind couldn't hide the amusement her sentence brought him, but kept his tone serious.

"No, Roxanne. I should never have tried to tell you what to do. You are a robust spirit, a strong-hearted woman, you could definitely kick whoever's butt you wanted" She merely shook her head and put a hand to his lips.

"And you are a caring, protective man. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm sorry" He smiled, that loving, smitten grin only he could master, and took her hand gently.

"I'm sorry too. I thought you'd never want to see me again" Their eyes locked and, for a moment, Roxanne was certain he spoke honesty instead of simple words.

"You don't have to worry about that" She squeezed his hand reassuringly, and momentarily forgot about the dozens of curious citizens looking at them from the streets or windows.

"You think we can stick to kissing instead of fighting? I seem to find it most pleasing" She laughed at his innocence for a brief moment before taking his lips into hers, the crowd's cheers filling the hot night's air.


End file.
